According to a new survey by the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers, the answer is yes.

Your mother taught you to never lie. And now you are faced with lying to her, of all people! But take heart, 90 percent of aging experts use or recommend the use of “fiblets” by adult children of aging parents with dementia as a way to ease anxiety and protect self-esteem. Especially when an aging parent with Alzheimer’s is:

  1. Refusing needed care
  2. No longer able to drive safely alone

These example situations are when white lies or “fiblets” can be therapeutic according to the care managers surveyed.

A “fiblet” can be:

  1. Telling an aging parent with Alzheimer’s that a paid caregiver is coming to their home for their spouse’s benefit, not his
  2. Telling them their car is in the shop getting repaired instead of saying they can’t drive anymore
  3. Not telling them about family problems that they can’t solve (unemployment, financial upheaval, divorce, drug abuse, incarceration)

The survey findings on the sensitive family topic of the “fiblet” kicks off National Geriatric Care Managers Month. There’s a great article with lots more information and examples of ‘fiblets’ if you want to read more about the topic. Go here to read more.

Have a wonderful May, with lots of flowers and sunshine!


Beverly Bernstein Joie, Certified Care Manager


Beverly Bernstein Joie, MS
Founder and President, Complete Care Strategies